From ho hum to extraordinary: How I navigated some big life changes in 7 steps (and LOVE my outcome)
A lot of changes have occurred in my life in the past two years. You may not know this from my social media. But then, do you air your dirty laundry online?
The following relatively recent life events had made me ho hum:
I’d recently come out of an unexpected divorce.
I’d changed paths in my career.
I found myself being a newly single and full time mother of tweens.
While I could have wallowed in my unasked-for circumstances (and I may have done that for a bit), I knew I needed to be a model for living for my daughters. Tweens and Teens are keenly observant.
Y’all. I have written two books on play — one for educators, one for general humans, and presented multiple lectures on the power of play. I should know how to do this! But, early on — as I was figuring out my path — I felt very much like I was blindfolded. I was comfortable being playful in my old definition of self. But this new one?
If you find yourself at a crossroads, or if you sense you could be more… whatever more means to you… then read on.
Over the past two (maybe three) years, I’ve been on this path to cultivating a life I love. I’m nowhere near my happiness destination — because this journey is made from making daily conscious decisions. I’m still choosing.
L- Look around you
What needs a pick-me-up?
Where are you feeling the sense of ho-hum? Are you bored? Are you lonely? Are you unfulfilled? Knowing the answer to this initial question will let you know where to focus your attention.
For me, I was many of these.
I knew I needed more social time in my calendar.
I was also bored. I seemed to have the same routine everyday with no break. With nothing real to look forward to.
E- Excitement
What excites you? What experiences make you smile? What kinds of experiences do you look forward to?
This part is one where we mesh step one (L) with step two (E).
I have always been a lover of books. I also love art and playing games. Also, food. I began to wonder how all these can work together.
Could food, books, or games help me feel connected to people?
V- Varied Experiences
When we have something to look forward to, our outlook on life begins to change. We have hope. According to Brene Brown, hope is not an emotion. Hope is a cognitive process — a way of thinking. When we change the mundane to something new, we begin to change our thinking.
For me, I began to host regular art nights with my neighbors. We bring food we’re proud of creating.
I also talked to my barista friends about a game night at the local coffee shop.
Oh, and I snagged a part time consulting job with my local bookshop.
Books, art, games, and friends. Lots to smile about.
E- Engagement
Don’t scroll through life — be proactive!
So let’s talk engagement. Did you do the thing? Did you go to the event? What did you think?
If you liked it, plan the next one!
If you didn’t, what parts need changing?
The ball (think… your life) needs to be ever-in-motion. Are you receiving the actions of others or are you making plans that make you smile? A little of both makes the perfect recipe.
L- Link
I was at a community meeting once, and this elderly lady wearing a flow dress, lots of bracelets, and holding a pile of messy papers stood at the microphone sharing about her morning coffee club, inviting all the ladies to come by. She said, “Life is a contact sport. You’ve gotta show up.”
At this point, you might have figured out what cranks your tractor. It’s easier, and often a lot more fun to play with friends. Who can you link up with?
Me? I’m now in two book clubs. One I host, and one that rotates. The rotating one always involves book-themed food. See the photo below from when we read The Hill House by Shirley Jackson.
We’re working on making game-night at the coffee shop a regular event.
And I’ve connected with some old and new friends for a monthly girls night out.
U- Useful
How can we be purposeful? Create something meaningful
Once you’ve found your love in life — and by love, I mean time spent in joy — you might be ready to take your ideas to the next level.
How can these new experiences work to the greater good?
Could you connect your fun to support a community need?
One young man in my town did this when he was in high school. His love for ball and the community merged to become Ball4Good, a non-profit that supports communities and other non-profits through sports.
This past fall, they hosted a cornhole tournament to support local non-profits.
How can your group affect change?
P- Propel
This last step involves forward movement. To propel toward some thing. Ask yourself, how can I move forward with intention?
I think I’ve reached a point of peace. While it’s still a daily decision (enter hope, stage left), I know my own triggers for unrest. For me, this feeling seems to come in waves. Sometimes, I need to burrow. Sometimes, I need to be around happy, shiny people. Over time, I’ve come to know this about myself.
I’m continually planning for fun. My co-author, Jed, and I have a monthly play calendar that keeps us accountable and invites others to join in our fun. We hope you decide to come along.
As a play ambassador for the US Play Coalition, I’m passionate about sharing the power of play for wellness and overall happy lives. As you continue to seek answers to your own questions on play, you might be interested in the following articles:
